Perfectionism.

I am not perfect. I put a lot of pressure on myself to do more and to be better. I want to be the best and that is stressful. I have ADHD. I don’t want that to be an excuse. I don’t want that to limit me. Which just makes me push myself harder. So much so that it paralyzes me sometimes. The anxiety gets too intense. Getting out of bed is a battle. I wakeup and instantly am overwhelmed by an impossible list of things to accomplish. I lay in bed watching the time flash by and growing more enraged with the fact that I am working against myself. I fill my head with doubts and by the time I roll out of bed I am a ball of negativity.
I am not perfect. I know living that way isn’t healthy. I make an effort to wakeup earlier, to lessen the workload, to plan and prioritize and most importantly to breathe. There is no deadline, appointment, work shift or other engagement more important than my health. I struggle some days to remember this, but I make an effort. I am amazing, worthy and loved. Even if I am the only person that believes so, I am. I think that it is important to take even just 5 minutes a day to stretch and just refocus. It is easy to get lost in the chaos of the day and lose sight of the light in life.
I am not perfect and that’s okay.

Find me on Instagram: darcylan

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